The conversation with the school went as well as can be expected. Not great, but not bad.
I spoke with the principal about my frustration over the lack of communication. I reiterated the importance of structure and of easing into change. She agreed I had a right to be upset. We checked with the secretaries to see if anyone had confirmed the transportation department had the correct information. No. Of course not. I guess I was expecting the school to understand that anxiety disorder is a real, actual problem. That while I am doing my best to appear reasonable and not make enemies at my kids' school, they are really dealing with a pissed off parent.
I left with assurances that
a) The transportation department would be called
b) Any changes in classroom or teacher (which are expected in about a month) would be explained to me well beforehand so that I could have an opportunity to prepare my son
c) Any issues noted at school with my son's behavior or learning abilities would be communicatd to me promptly
I'm still not feeling satisfied, but I didn't yell at anyone ( I may have raised my voice a teensy little bit ) and even if the school doesn't follow through on everything I have asked, at least they are reminded once again that I am paying attention.
It seems at times that the school doesn't want to do more than they absolutely have to. I don't blame them, they are understaffed and under-resourced. That's not going to prevent me from seeking the best possible care for my children while they are attending classes there.
Anxiety Disorder in children, like a lot of pediatric issues, doesn't look exactly like it does in adults.
When C is feeling anxious, he stops making eye contact. He will have frequent tantrums and will have daily incidents where his sensory issues go off the charts. For instance, this might involve him slapping himself in the head repeatedly and screaming that his "hair is falling down" or his eyes are "bothering me!" He had a scab on his head that didn't heal for more than a year because he wouldn't stop picking at it constantly. His frustration tolerance is nonexistent. If a toy doesn't do what he wants it to or if it doesn't "look" right, he will scream and throw it. We've had a lot of really good toys broken that way, so I tend to look for things that aren't breakable any more.
Sometimes I wish that my kids' educators could spend a week, or even an hour in my shoes. That they could have been trapped in the car with me and my screaming child yesterday. Maybe then they would take him and me more seriously. Maybe then they would listen, REALLY listen when I talk about his needs and the best ways that we, his parents and his teachers, can meet them together, ways that we can help him be successful.
I respect our schools, our teachers and our administrative staff. I think they have a really hard job to do and they do the best they can with limited resources. But I also think this makes it easier for them to lump me into the "obnoxious parent" category without paying real attention to what I'm trying to convey. Sometimes I feel like they think I'm making things up just so I can get better services or something. Maybe that's just my own insecurity talking, I don't know. But for once I'd like to get the feeling that the listening I'm getting isn't just reflective.
The dogs got their paws on the hoodie my mom bought my daughter for school. Apparently it was used in a tug of war, as I found it on the living room floor, with a sleeve ripped off. Oh, the tears. Fortunately they still had it at Sears. I looked at the price tag - $34.00. Ugh. Oh, the tears.